v. tat·tled, tat·tling, tat·tles
v.intr.
1. To reveal the plans or activities of another; gossip. See Synonyms at gossip.
2. To chatter aimlessly; prate.
v.tr.
To reveal through gossiping.
n.
1. Aimless chatter; prattle.
2. Gossip; talebearing.
3. A tattletale.
I've decided to reveal a huge pet peeve of mine. It's about the word tattling and how it's used with children.
If my daughter comes up to me in tears and says, "Caleb took my Barbie and put her in his Batman castle and he said he was going to keep her captured!" should I just brush it off and tell her not to tattle? Doesn't that seem ridiculous? Her feelings have been hurt, and in her world, poor Barbie being in a Batman castle is a big deal.
But I've seen moms say, "Oh, don't tattle on your brother." I think teachers are maybe worse.
Is she "revealing the plans or activities of another"?? Yes. But it's not in a gossiping, let's get Caleb in trouble for something that has nothing to do with me manner.
What if she tells me that Caleb pushed Gabriel? Or what about name calling?
Here is my perspective and how I handle these situations. If it directly affects Sarah, like the Barbie and Batman castle example, I will address it because her feelings have been hurt and she is coming to me for help. Caleb should respect her feelings, and they need to play together nicely. If it's something like one of my children pushed another, but it's the one that wasn't directly involved that tells me, I will say, "Thank you for telling me, Sarah," and may or may not address the issue until the ones involved come to me. If it's something completely out there...like...I don't know..."Caleb put his backpack on the table instead of putting it in his room," (which has never happened as far as someone telling me this, but we'll go with it) I will still say, "Thank you for telling me," because I feel like the child must feel like it's important for some reason.
I think deep down most kids aren't trying to get other kids in trouble. I think they just want to trust adults, and they want to come to them when they are hurt or see something that doesn't appear to be right. Most of the time, I honestly don't think kids are tattling. I think they think they are helping, or they are upset and hurt! Why are adults so quick to say, "I don't want to hear it!" or "Don't tattle!"
Could we try to be more mindful in these situations? Perhaps they need us to just listen, perhaps they just want to feel like they're being heard.
I've decided to reveal a huge pet peeve of mine. It's about the word tattling and how it's used with children.
If my daughter comes up to me in tears and says, "Caleb took my Barbie and put her in his Batman castle and he said he was going to keep her captured!" should I just brush it off and tell her not to tattle? Doesn't that seem ridiculous? Her feelings have been hurt, and in her world, poor Barbie being in a Batman castle is a big deal.
But I've seen moms say, "Oh, don't tattle on your brother." I think teachers are maybe worse.
Is she "revealing the plans or activities of another"?? Yes. But it's not in a gossiping, let's get Caleb in trouble for something that has nothing to do with me manner.
What if she tells me that Caleb pushed Gabriel? Or what about name calling?
Here is my perspective and how I handle these situations. If it directly affects Sarah, like the Barbie and Batman castle example, I will address it because her feelings have been hurt and she is coming to me for help. Caleb should respect her feelings, and they need to play together nicely. If it's something like one of my children pushed another, but it's the one that wasn't directly involved that tells me, I will say, "Thank you for telling me, Sarah," and may or may not address the issue until the ones involved come to me. If it's something completely out there...like...I don't know..."Caleb put his backpack on the table instead of putting it in his room," (which has never happened as far as someone telling me this, but we'll go with it) I will still say, "Thank you for telling me," because I feel like the child must feel like it's important for some reason.
I think deep down most kids aren't trying to get other kids in trouble. I think they just want to trust adults, and they want to come to them when they are hurt or see something that doesn't appear to be right. Most of the time, I honestly don't think kids are tattling. I think they think they are helping, or they are upset and hurt! Why are adults so quick to say, "I don't want to hear it!" or "Don't tattle!"
Could we try to be more mindful in these situations? Perhaps they need us to just listen, perhaps they just want to feel like they're being heard.