Friday, July 6, 2012

Generational Parenting

I am up really late (for me).  It is 11:35 pm, and I'm waiting for the dishwasher to finish so I can go to bed (because I always check to make sure cups didn't flip over and fill with water).

Since I'm up late, I was going through some of my friends' blogs.  Lajoie wrote an entry about kids these days, and I left a comment. 

I decided to post it on here because even though I thought I could write a long entry about it, I'm not sure I can say much more than I did in that comment:

I want to write an entry about this, I'm just not sure how to go about it...and that is...since this seems to be a cultural crisis (horrible kids who don't behave and don't want to listen and bully each other who may end up bums) I wonder where did that parenting style (lack of parenting I suppose) came from? The generation before us shakes their heads at us and tells us how rotten our kids are (not mine specifically - or yours - but you know what I mean). When/where/how did our generation get the notion that this was ok? And did the generation before us fail us somehow?

Have you ever thought about this?


Bethany Haid said...

This may be a little unrelated, but I am also up pretty late - 1 AM - and when I saw the post title, I thought this: I think each generation does the best they can with what they have, and its constant improvement, even be it so small.

Then I read your post, and I am not totally sure what to comment. I don't see that many bratty children anymore - I saw my fair share of bratty teens and preteens who had a totally World Revolves Around Me attitude. Now I am around toddlers and preschoolers and their parents, and I don't notice it as much, but maybe because I don't have to be in the general public like a teacher does.

I raise my kids to be helpful, friendly, and problem solvers. I reject that its my job to make them happy, but I do accept that its my job to teach them how to process their negative emotions/disappointment and how to perhaps be more successful next time.

I do think I do some attachment parenting, namely in the way that I want my children to trust me and communicate with me early on. I think that is a little different than "traditional" parenting, whatever that is, but what I think it was like in the 80s when I was a baby.

I mostly like parenting blogs that have something to do with these topics: Montessori, Peaceful Parenting, Respectful Infant Educarers, etc.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow... I could go on about this forever and all of my theories. I think the one I'm going to go with right now is that there is so many more opportunities these days for children to avoid "real" interaction with peers - TV, internet, video games, phones,etc that really stunt their social skills. Result is what you see today. Boys are a little more agressive, girls are just so incredibly mean to each other, and they both know WAY more about what I would call "inappropriate topics" than they should - sex, recreational drug use, and alcohol abuse.
My parents told me to go out and play or had my friends over or I went to their houses - that's what I believe the majority of our parents did in our generation - real interactions. Nowadays, that's not the case. Texting, facebooking, emailing, playing video games online with friends, etc. I believe all the digital interactions are stunting our children's social development and what we see is the result.
I will descend from my soapbox now.

(This is Hillary, by the way. I don't know how to post non anonymously)

Karen said...

Dr spock and attachment parenting has ruined a generation. Parents are being taught we are to cater to the needs of the children. No we are to train them to be productive members of society.

Bethany Haid said...

I just thought of something else - I think I will try to teach my children that when I am the grandparent or when they are the grandparent - its not cool to just criticize the current generations' parenting ideas. You should instead buy them a book or encourage, not wag fingers. I think that breeds for more dissatisfaction/discord between generations and also makes the current moms feel like the are failures or have little hope in making good parenting choices.

Carolyn Watson-Dubisch said...

Posts like this about kids today are ridiculous. Yes it's different raising kids now as opposed to other times. However I believe parents today are doing the best they can. Which means, when you are talking about the whole population, some people are amazing parents doing a phenomenal job and others are criminally negligent and getting their children taken away and everything in between. It's like saying girls today are uglier than they used to be because you don't like today's fashions.

Michele said...

I think parenting styles tend to change from generation to generation in a reactive way. Kids who grew up in the 50's felt oppressed and unloved in a rigid, "what will the neighbors think" environment and they grew up to create the free love 70's. Kids who grew up in the 80's had parents who grew up in the 60's, a decade filled with fear, confusion, and a lot of hate for what was different So the 80's kids, now having their own children, promote that everything is ok, nothing is off limits, and respect for yourself and others is a thing of the past.

I have thought about this a lot and this is the best I can come up with to make sense of it. lol

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