Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Real Me. Really.


Have you heard this term?

If not, let me help.  It's sort of self-explanatory, right?  You basically put a bunch of awesome, happy pictures online coupled with awesome, happy status updates.

I've read two (maybe three?) blogs/articles about this recently.  Some funny.  Some down right serious.  And they are basically calling out those who just go through life putting up a fake front...via facebook anyway.

I totally get what they are saying...really, I do.

But here is my problem with this concept.  Who on earth thinks to take a picture (or wants to?) of what they look like first thing in the morning?  Or who thinks to take a picture (or wants to?) of their child throwing a fit or being defiant or puking at 3:00 am?  No pictures?  How about a status update about the time I almost died when my daughter said someone was ugly.  That's not how I've raised her.  Why would she think that?  Or say it?  Why should I go to facebook and type, "My daughter really disappointed me today when she said a woman we know is ugly."


I'm not going to do that.

Having a rough day?  Yeah, I have those.  Lots of them.  I have four kids for God's sake.  And I'm's not always blissful.  And I have family and friends who can, at times, let me down.  I'm sure I let them down, too.  But do people want me to update my status every time I have a fight with my husband?  Or yell at my kids when I should keep my cool?

Is there a balance when it comes to keeping it real?  I'm sure there is.  I mean...I guess there is.  I'm not sure I've found it, though.  I honestly don't think people want to  hear my problems.  They don't want to always know when I've been up all night with one...or two kids.  When I was on the couch all night with a fussy baby only to get up at 5:30 so I could go work out...because I desperately want to lose weight, and sometimes that doesn't always go well.  They don't want to know when the dog puked on the carpet right as I'm trying to leave to take a child to preschool.  I don't think they want to know when I question if I'm being a good mom...or a good wife...or a good friend.

Really.  Truly.  I think people are ok with this...

The Chrissy who pulls herself together each day to tackle the world.  Or maybe not the world.  Maybe it's just tackling what the day will bring in her own little world.  The Chrissy who wakes up each day with the attitude of, "This is another day He's given me.  I will rejoice and be glad in it."  Through all the crap...through all the joy...ALL of it is ok.  Really, it is.  Am I thrilled when something bad happens?  No, of course not.  But keeping it real might have different meanings to different people.

"My life on Facebook is an airbrushed and Instagrammed image of my real life. I edit the suckage because I want people to think I have my [stuff] together. I give everything a hipstacular filter to make the drudgery look interesting. Most of the time, I think I’m a decent mom, and I think I’m giving my kids a pretty good life. But I also think I’d be a better mom if I stopped pretending, and making friends on Facebook feel like they have to pretend as well." -Sarah Emily Tuttle-Singer

The thing is...I am not pretending.  I do not, for one second, expect others to pretend.  And I don't think they are.  What you see on facebook is the real me.  It really is.  And if you think it's not real because I don't share the crap in my day...then I'm not sure what to tell ya! :) 

But I want to know...
Do you think we're all pretending?


Andrea said...

I think that like everything else, Facebook is a social gathering place. When we attend a reunion, go to church, visit family, host a party, or go to lunch with a friend, we put on our nicer clothes, spend a little extra time on our hair, put on some make-up, and do our best to present our best self. We may have a one-on-one conversation that shows the grit and grime of our daily struggles, but if we have a bad week, do we wear our sweat pants to church, pout, and tell everyone how awful it was? No. We do our best to put our best self forward. And I don't think there's anything wrong or unreal about that :)

Michele said...

Great post.

Lisa said...

Awesome! Well said! Haha - the suckage??? Haha!!! :)

Cheryl said...

I, for one get sick and tired of reading negative statuses from the same people day in & out! I would much rather see the happy times of people's days, than hear all of the "crap"! So, maybe that's why I share my favorite parts of my day & just expect that people know that's it's not all ponies & rainbows, just like I know that about them. I don't think it's fake at all. I share my private struggles with people I trust. I don't put them out there for all of Facebook to see! We are just more reserved than some! :)

Jessica said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with sharing when you're having a bad day or things aren't going so well, it's part of real life. But I agree that there are some things that can be considered an over-share. Good post!

Tina said...

Chrissy, this is exactly what I felt when I read the articles!!
I post the good. The stuff I feel is important. The memories my kids are making!!!
Sometimes, I post some bad.
If my kids are in the hospital. Or really sick. Or I need opinions or support on something. Or if I think something is outrageous.

BUT. I don't post "my day sucks" and take pics of the awful. I know every single mom/wife/person out there has the same or similar struggles. I don't think they're pretending life is perfect.
And I personally get tired of the "oh poor me" and "Fml" posts every single day from the same people.

Your life is what you make of it. Bad things happen to everyone. Everyone has a bad day and that's ok. But the chronic complaining! Ah!
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it!!

And then. My fave is when people post their personal drama, wanting attention, get the attention...... And then they call people out for being in their business.

Marcinda said...

well said, LOVE Andrea's comment... and I learned a new word today... "suckage" ha ha

Nel said...

Pretty sure we leave all the suckage out for a reason. I am sure people know my life isn't all cookies and cupcakes... I like the positive status' much more :o) I totally get what you are saying!

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