Sunday, February 20, 2011

Frustrated About Potty

It was the end of May in 2007, and Caleb was 2 years, 9 months old to be exact. We finally decided to just put him in underwear and stick with it, no turning back. It was tough at first, but he eventually got it, and I would say in a few weeks, by some point in June, he was officially potty trained. And even though some have trouble with "the other" side of it - that is, the poopy training - he actually picked up on that just fine as well.

Then came the night-time battle.

I knew it was normal for children not to get it right away, so we had Pull-Ups on hand only for bed time. Each night, I'd have him go potty and then put on his Pull-Up so that we did not have to continually wash sheets night after night. Eventually, or so I thought, he would not have to wear them at night time. He would go before bed, and he would learn/know to wake up if he had to go in the middle of the night.

Six months passed.

A year passed.

Along came my second child in the potty training realm, and surprisingly to me, she was night-time potty trained pretty much right when she was day-time potty trained.

But not Caleb.

And here we are, years later, and at 6 1/2 years old, he still cannot go a full night without wetting his Pull-Up. Since he is so much bigger now, we have actually converted to Goodnites since those are for big kids.

Last night Caleb came to me and said, "Mommy, I'm out of Pull-Ups." I looked at Josh, and he looked at me. "Do you want me to go get some?" he asked. "No, let's just have him go a few times, and even wake him up a little later. It should be ok."

At 7:30 pm, Caleb put on his pj's and went to the bathroom.

At 9:00 pm, he had already been asleep for a bit, but Josh woke him, and he went again.

At 10:30 pm, I thought we'd better try one more time, so Josh woke him, and he went again.

Yes, he pottied all three times. A lot. Yes, I limit his liquid intake, pretty much nothing after dinner, and he still goes like this!

By 12:45 am, Caleb came into our room, tapped on my arm, and said, "Mommy, my pants are wet." I was so frustrated, but of course, I wasn't upset with him. He evidently can't help it.

I am at a loss with this. I know he is obviously not the only child his age - or even older - who does this considering there is an entire line of products for it. But it's still frustrating for me. Especially after last night, when he went to the bathroom THREE TIMES and still had an accident by 12:45.

And for some reason, I am really sensitive about this issue. I can't believe I wrote about it to be honest. But I'm hoping for tips or ideas. I'd LOVE to not have to buy Goodnites anymore, especially considering I'm about to potty train my third child. I'd like to be free of all things that resemble a diaper!


Ashley said...

I TOTALLY understand, and am glad you wrote this...because I thought Hunter was the only one who still did this at his age! Since his brothers have been home he's stopped wearing pull ups, which means that I do a load of his sheets every. single. day. It's frustrating to be sure...but I know he can't help it. Have you talked to the Dr. about it? I want to, but don't want to make a big deal out of it in front of him, you know?

Hannah said...

Oh Chrissy! I totally understand! Our oldest son just turned six and I had been waiting for him to train at night since he was two and half, when he was day trained. We have also went back and forth with "going cold turkey" no goodnights (the pullups) and just getting frustrated, and going back to making him wear them. It was just this last month he told me he didn't want to wear them any more. I was hesitant, but now he sleeps in underwear every single night. He still has accidents about once a week or so, but I have him pull his own sheets off, wash the plastic sheet with clorox wipes, and help put the new sheet on. He gets up by himself (thank goodness!!) and goes potty once or twice a night. I wish I had some advice to give to you about something we did, but really I think it just takes boys longer (as much as I just hate to say that).

I'm pretty sure I've commented before, but I'll introduce myself to you :)

I grew up in Cape Girardeau, MO, and both of my older sisters were in marching band, there was a post you talked about some band contests (TWA maybe?) at STL and I was probably there :) Anyways, I live in Alabama now, and have two boys, one just turned six in January, and the other will be three in July. I love reading your blog, and hearing your stories!

Mindy said...

I, of course, have not experienced parenting or potty training.. but I have seen tons of little boys around that age that I babysat who have the same problem. So I think it's more normal than people think. The question is - why? My first thought was maybe to ask your pediatrician about it?

accesskas27 said...

I have done some research on the subject, because Joseph is the same way and he will be 7 in July and a lot of the articles I found said that really until they are around 10 (if i remember correctly) that it is still somewhat normal. Some children's bladders are just growing slower than others but in time it will fix itself.

I also asked my pediatrician at Joseph's 6 year old check-up and he said that if it wasn't every night that usually in those cases it will correct itself, but that if it was every night that he might want to do some testing. I also have been noticing with Joseph anyway that it hasn't really had to do with how much he has drank throughout the day, but that he wets on days he is really tired.

Hope this helps!! I am in the same boat as I'm sure a lot of other mothers out there. The best thing we can do is to let our children know they are completely normal and it's not a big deal. Joseph knows that his younger brother at age 4 doesn't wear them, but that he has to because he sometimes wets, and he doesn't think that is abnormal in any way. I am actually worried that Joseph is going to tell someone at school about his "goodnites" and that someone will make fun of him. I pray that never happens....

Let me know if you find anything else out or any good ideas!

Wendy said...

Looks like you are not alone! We, too, struggle with night time potty training. Our son is almost 6 1/2 years old and has yet to have a dry night. We buy GoodNites, too. We've even been to specialists about our son's issue. (He still has the occassional poopy accident). All the doctors/specialists we've seen has said the same time he'll get it. It's hard to remember that after calculating all the time we've been dealing with this. Good luck on your end!

Kelsey said...

Chrissy as a mom I feel your pain, although I have not had issues with this particular problem. As a nurse, I want to ask a few questions though. Firstly, does he go to the bathroom that often during the day as well as in the evening time? You said you limit his intake but is that during the entire day or just as the day progresses into time to get ready for bed?
Are there mornings when he wakes up with a dry pullup? And does he know when he has an accident in the middle of the night always?
My advice to you as a mother as well as an RN is to talk to his pediatrician. As Kassie mentioned there is some testing that can be done if warranted. It may be an answer for you. Or the more likely, is that the only answer is time. At any rate, I wish you luck as well as for Caleb. I am sure it is frustrating for all of you.

Debbie said...

I have this exact problem with my 10 and my 6 year old, but not with my 8 or 4 year olds. I have found to be very helpful to us and we do not use pull-ups or good-nights due to cost. The sheets just get washed daily. I feel your pain and am right there with you when it comes to frustration. Finally, one day it occured to me that one day they will wake up dry and continue to stay dry and I needed to not stress about when that day would be. Have you tried alarms? We did and the Bedwetting Store has a lot of helpful products and advice.

RaD said...

Sorry I have not experienced this but a friend of ours went through it with her son until he was 10 years old. At that point they had moved and a new pediatrician said his bladder is probably too small. What he had them try was to ask him to wait until the very last possible second before going to the bathroom. We're talking major potty dance time. The purpose was to help expand his bladder and also help with control. It took about a month and a half and he never wet the bed again. Just a suggestion...

Jo Ann said...

I have often wondered about this and have a brother who suffered with it for many years. When he was a teen my mom took him off of dairy and that seemed to be the key. My boys never had a problem with it. I just thought I would Google it, especially natural remedies. Interesting (weird?) stuff!
Here's a couple of links, would love to hear if any of it works.

The easiest sounds like 2 tsp of walnuts and 1 tsp of raisins.

Mrs. Haid said...

Fleece covers under him? Plastic table cloth under the fleece blanket? Fleece Jammies? Those are sort of less laundry options... My friend has a 3 year old who wets at night and she HATES the idea of cloth diapers, but there are some cloth options for night that are called trainers... and they fit children, not toddlers... I thought it was shocking to hear that the girl is still wetting at night since she's been potty trained at day for a year, but the mom and dad both said they weren't dry in the morning until after kindergarten. Maybe it runs in families. Ask your mom or MIL! And of course, blame it on the husband's genes in public forums, right? :o)

PS - We will use Blueberry trainers and Happy Heinys pocket trainers. I think Rebecca at Sprouting up could get them for you. Your totally cost might be 40 for two or three nights worth... for the next several years though, no pull up cost!

thechattymommy said...

Totally with you.
I am done trying to understand it or worry about it.
My worry is that my older son is just fine with wearing pull-ups and doesn't really find it necessary to stop wearing them. I don't get mad at him, but I am considering starting some kind of reward system if he stays dry.

On another note, a girlfriend told me that someone in her family went to the doctor for her son and was told that if the child is not pooping enough the full intestines can push on the bladder through the night. So, even if our kids are pooping once a day and we think that is good, it may not be good enough.
Let me know if you figure something out - I am open to all suggestions.
In the mean time, don't sweat it- it has no bearing on what kind of parent you are - it is simply out of our hands.

Peter and Nancy said...

Our daughter is 4, and has never once been dry through the night (she was day trained at 2). She has been dry through a nap twice though. We are using PullUps too, and I don't love spending the money. I wonder if the cloth options will hold enough liquid, though -- like your son, it doesn't seem to matter how much she drinks, she still has plenty of output at night! We can't check on heredity, though, as she's adopted. Thanks for sharing -- you've got lots of company out here. :o)

Anonymous said...

Oh I feel your pain. My son was almost 11 when his problem was resolved. Dr. said he had no control and couldn't help it. I forget the condition's name but there are a lot of kids with it.

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