Wordless Wednesday

After a football game...















October 2007

The End of Nursing

It seems that my days of nursing Gabriel are about to come to an end officially.















I was able to go 36 hours without "needing" to feed him, and even then, I only did it because I was going to be gone at a bible study last night from 6:30 to 9:00 and I knew he would fall asleep before I got home. I thought I'd better go ahead instead of trying to wake him up at 9:00. I gave my electric, double pump to another nursing mom or else I'd just be hooking myself up to relieve the pressure throughout this weaning process.

I'm going to try and go longer...48 hours or more...and usually after that...I'm done.

There are a few pros can cons to being done with nursing. A few of these will be really blunt, so to my male readers (I know who you are...all two of you...ha!) you might want to skip this blog! :o)

Pros:

I have my body back. I know this sounds selfish and silly. But really, I feel like a walking milk truck or dinner buffet during the months when I'm nursing. Also, I lived my entire "after puberty" life wearing size B bras. I am always about a D when I'm nursing, and I don't even know how to run around in the backyard chasing the kids with these things getting in my way. I used to think I wanted to be bigger breasted. I'm 100% happy with what God gave me PRE BABY now!

While I am not shy about nursing in public, I do breathe a sigh of relief when I go out with the kids now and know I will not have to try and pull my shirt down as best as I can to feed my baby. In the later months, he began pulling up on my shirt anyway, so even though I'm not bashful, I don't want to give everyone a show that they didn't intend on seeing! :o)

Cons:

All that being said, I will miss it. "It" being the time we had with just the two of us. Knowing I was the one providing what he needed.

And here come the cons that really make me want to pump for the rest of my life...well...not really...but you'll see...

I have not had a period since February 2008. Yep. Some of you know but others may not - when you nurse, you don't have a period. Unless you take birth control, then those hormones make you have one. If he wasn't biting me EVERY TIME (yes, still) I would probably nurse him until he was two just for this reason alone!

I know that I will HAVE TO BUCKLE DOWN and become more disciplined with what I'm eating. I looked at the scale today, and I weigh exactly what I did in January of this year. Nursing literally sucks out between 500 and 1000 calories of what a woman eats. That's why I've been able to eat pretty much whatever (all those posts about my addiction to McD's) and it's not caused me to gain anything. I noticed after I quit nursing Sarah, I gained 10 pounds almost instantly (within a month or two).

So this season of my life is over. Who knows what God has in store for me when it comes to more children or not. For now, I'll just cherish these last few times of nursing (sort of...not when he bites me) and remember the sweet look on Gabriel's face when his belly was full and his mouth had milk running out of the corner.

Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say

Gabriel was taking his short, morning nap as I was in the kitchen getting the dishes ready to be placed in the dish washer. Caleb was sitting at the counter, and along side of him was Sarah. They enjoyed playing with Legos together, and it was just a really peaceful morning.

As 11:00 am rolled by, I decided to start fixing a sandwich for myself before my baby woke up and hindered my ability to fix anything! I successfully got all of our lunches ready (for me, Caleb, and Sarah) when I heard Gabriel start to cry.

"Oh, shoot! Gabriel is awake!" Caleb said with a frustrated tone. He really loves his little brother, so I was confused by his statement and his attitude about it.

"Well, it's fine that he's awake! Why would you say that, Caleb?" I asked him.

He explained, "I remember the other day when Sarah was being loud and she woke up Gabriel. And you were mad that he was awake."

Wow. He remembered that. I was, in fact, upset one day when Sarah decided to scream about something in the middle of Gabriel's nap...which caused him to wake up at least 30 minutes sooner than he would have. And I'm sure I probably said, "Oh, shoot! Gabriel is awake!" verbatim! And I'm positive I wasn't too happy about it...and used a frustrated tone.

Just like he said it.

"Caleb, it's ok that Gabriel is awake. We like to play with him, right?!!" I tried to say with encouragement.

"Sure!" was his sweet and kinder response.

It was at that moment, perhaps more than ever, that I realized how closely my children are watching me. Everything. Every word and every action. We know this as parents, but are we really keenly aware of it?

I will be sure to work at being more aware of the words and tone I use...even in the smallest situations.

There's falling off the wagon...then there's wandering off of the trail completely...

When I watch The Biggest Loser, I used to be insanely jealous that those people had the opportunity to be secluded from the real world and were able to have Bob and Jillian 24/7. I did not envy the fact that they had to weigh themselves in front of the world, but their instant fame and the way the viewers fell in love with certain contestants for various reasons just seemed like a great thing. Those of us who have struggled with our weight wanted to cheer them on throughout their journey. We know it's tough.

But...their progress was tracked by all of us who watch. And once they go home and the show is over...and all the hype is gone...then what? Were they given the tools to make the permanent change?

I thought so...until I saw something that broke my heart.

It's been quite a while ago, but Oprah invited a former Biggest Loser winner to her stage. The entire show was dedicated to falling off the wagon so to speak. I braced myself for what I was about to see. I didn't want to see a winner go back to their old ways. I wanted to think that once they learned how to eat right and exercise that their struggles with food would be gone.

That's not what I saw.

Instead, I saw someone who worked so hard to look like this...




















...gain 100 pounds back.















I sat on my couch in tears. Why? Because it was sad? No. Because I could feel his shame. He said he felt like he let people down. Those who said they were inspired by him. Those who wanted to be just like him because they understood his struggle.

He fell off the wagon. He wandered off the trail.

What does that mean for all of us who struggle, too? I've found that once I get into a good pattern, I tell myself that one Pepsi is ok if I've been successful for a week or two. Or one brownie. But then, one turns in to two...turns in to three. Moderation evidently does not work for me. If I am to be successful, I will have to eliminate these things from my life. How is that possible? Chrissy without Pepsi and brownies?

Weird.

And I so badly want to look like this again...



















For those of you who have asked, "What happened to Measure Me Monday?" It fizzled. I felt like the above Biggest Loser contestant. People said they enjoyed my honesty. They were inspired to do the same. And I fell off the wagon. I wandered off the trail.

Time to find my trail again. And find that wagon...

By the way...our weight loss "competition" came to an end because my friend decided to use a fat burning product. She decided it wasn't fair, so off she goes to losing weight with help. I'm still using the old fashioned technique.

I ♥ Blog Friends

Today I'm being featured on The Fabulous Adventures of Mrs. Haid!













I'm honored, really. I truly love her blog. I stumbled upon her writings via Ashley's page, and through various comments, we somehow started to get to know one another. Our most common ground is our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. And recently, our common journey on this road called motherhood (Mrs. Haid had her first born in July) has lent itself to several emails back and forth about different topics.

Hop on over to her blog. See the feature. And follow her while you're there...her adventures are always worth reading! :o)

And I want to start doing the same thing...except I'm not sure if I could write a sweet poem about each of you like she does for her blog spotlights!

New Bedding Take Two

Perhaps you remember this post from back in April when I wrote with joy how I ordered new bedding for our room. Sadly, it looked nothing like the picture. I liked it because it seemed like the flowers popped off the comforter, and it just appeared like it would be a really happy addition to a room. Instead, it felt and looked cheap, and the flowers were just sad looking.

But, I'm willing to give JC Penney another chance. I would like to order this set...















...because it comes with so much for so little. I'm just hoping I don't "get what I pay for" with this set as well.

I'm hoping the color gives our room a warm feel. I'll let you know how it turns out.

My Phone Phobia

I'm about to confess to my friends (and readers) something that many of them may have already figured out. Perhaps I need therapy for it...who knows.

I don't like answering the phone. I don't like making phone calls.

Lately I've been trying to trace back to my impressionable years something that may have triggered this behavior. Since, as we all know, everything about us comes from our childhood (I'm only being a tiny bit sarcastic...I do believe much of what we do and how we think comes from childhood)!

My sister and I never understood why our parents didn't like answering the phone. They had an answering machine, and every time the phone would ring, they would wait to see who was on the other end. If it was family, they would pick up. If it was anyone else, more than likely they would not answer. I'm not sure why they did it this way.

With modern technology, they now have caller id. They now answer the phone every time. There must be something about knowing who they are going to be talking to before they say, "Hello" that makes this process better for them.

So now on to my own issues.

Maybe being in a house where we didn't answer the phone made me this way. I don't know. But when I hear my phone ring, I always pick it up, look at who is calling, and then decide if I think I know why they are calling. Oh, and I do have a VERY SHORT, always answer list. It is:

Josh
Mom
Sonja

That's it. Sorry. Even my very best girlfriends are not on that list. More often than not, I will wait and see if the person calling will leave me a message. Then, when I listen, I can find out why they called and call them back to discuss the issue.

Why am I like this?

I actually think it became worse after I became a stay-at-home mom. I do not enjoy being on the phone and having to tell my kids to be quiet. If it's a close friend (especially if they also have kids) it's a bit easier because I know they understand. But if my insurance company is calling me and all three of my kiddos are running around, laughing or bugging each other, it's pretty difficult to have an adult conversation. I also wonder if the person on the other end is judging me if they hear rowdiness in the background.

So...

If you call me and I don't answer, it may be because I'm changing a diaper or because I don't hear the phone. But I'll be honest. It might be because I'm having one of my don't answer the phone days.

Just wanted to try and explain it to everyone. Try to be understanding.



Ray - I answered your call yesterday. You should feel proud!

Tina - I called you last night. A big step for me!

:o)

Wordless Wednesday

Colorguard girls...right from the start...



















Me and my sister...probably fall 1988. Yes, I am super stylish.

What Is Your Passion?

In June, my sister, mom, aunt, and I participated along side 65,000 others in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis. I can only speak for myself, but I know I took part in the fund-raising efforts because I am passionate about women's health, specifically breast health, because my grandma and aunt are breast cancer survivors and because, when caught early, breast cancer is nearly 100% treatable. I'm passionate about it because 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. And I know that, when taught about BSE's (breast self exams), we can prevent the later onset of breast cancer.

But what about a passion I have to further God's kingdom or to help those in need...those He has called us to serve?

1 Timothy 6 says...

¹⁷Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. ¹⁸Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. ¹⁹In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

I believe each of us should be willing to give to various ministries. And when I say various, I really mean it. It seems to me that God lays it upon each heart a different desire to give. I admit...I am a blog hopper...so sometimes I see different blogs with different passions. Some are about adoption. Some are about overseas missionary work. Some are about protecting unborn children. Or providing clean drinking water for those who don't have it. Or building and providing education for those who would otherwise not have it. For me, I know I certainly don't have the resources to give to all of these worthwhile causes. Could it be that God has asked me to give much to one cause??

The reason I present this idea is because I often find that once someone is passionate about something, they try so hard to share this passion. Which is great! When we feel that strongly about what God is telling us to do, I can't imagine not sharing it! But I'm just not convinced that EVERYONE will feel exactly as strongly about the calling He's put on one person's heart.

Do that make sense?

For about two years, Josh and I have felt passionate about teaching/guiding others about becoming debt free. We have given away several of our copies of The Total Money Makeover, and I plan to just start ordering a copy once a month for when someone tells me, "It just feels like we're never going to stop living paycheck to paycheck." How does our passion about this subject further God's kingdom? Well, in verse 18 above, it says to be generous and share. It feels really hard to be generous and share when you don't know if you'll even have enough money to pay the utility bill this month. And as FPU teaches: "Imagine what the people of God could do for the kingdom of God if they were debt free."

Love that phrase.

I am also passionate about "home" missions. While some feel lead to spread the gospel overseas and give financially to causes there, I have a heart for the lost in our own country...in our own neighborhood! I want to find ways to meet people where they are in their lives and serve them...like Jesus who spoke to the woman at the well. When no one else wanted to speak to her, He did. What kind of people should I be speaking to who no one else will? I could financially help a hurting, single mom. I can give to a pregnancy resource center. There are so many local causes...

And I have given to them because those things are what God has placed upon my heart.

So...be passionate about something for His kingdom's sake. Ask Him what that might be. And then...see how He blesses you through it!

**After writing this, it reminded me that I wanted to financially support a local family who is adopting. I haven't had the chance to do that yet. And I know God has asked me to! I'll be emailing her soon! :o)

Oprah's Chrissy's Favorite Things - A Giveaway!

**WINNER SELECTED** My husband did, in fact, have a better way than just pick a number between 1 and 15! His TI89 calculator does this random integer thing, so that's what we did. And it was 2. So Tina, the Letter Factory will be on it's way to you! Stayed tuned in January...I will do another giveaway for my one year blogiversary! :o)

If you've never seen an episode of Oprah's Favorite Things, you are missing out on a bunch of adult women jumping up and down like small children and occasionally hyperventilating over incredibly awesome gifts.

I cannot give away a new minivan or anything...but...in honor of my 200th blog post, I do want to give away something to one of my readers! It is on a much smaller scale, but these are some of my favorite things:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Each for the Other: Marriage As It's Meant to Be by Bryan Chapel
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson
The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
WOW Worship Aqua (CD)
All About Love (CD) Steven Curtis Chapman
The Polar Express (DVD)
LeapFrog: Letter Factory (DVD)
Bamboo Spoon Set from Pampered Chef

Leave a comment on this blog post...any ol' comment...and one of you will receive one of my "favorite things" as a gift from me - your choice! I don' t have a scientific way of selecting who gets it. More than likely, I'll have my husband pick a number between one and ten (or however many comments there are). That's scientific enough, right? :o)

I appreciate you all so very much. I love your feedback. I love your encouragement! Thanks for following along!

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