Sunday, September 27, 2009

There's falling off the wagon...then there's wandering off of the trail completely...

When I watch The Biggest Loser, I used to be insanely jealous that those people had the opportunity to be secluded from the real world and were able to have Bob and Jillian 24/7. I did not envy the fact that they had to weigh themselves in front of the world, but their instant fame and the way the viewers fell in love with certain contestants for various reasons just seemed like a great thing. Those of us who have struggled with our weight wanted to cheer them on throughout their journey. We know it's tough.

But...their progress was tracked by all of us who watch. And once they go home and the show is over...and all the hype is gone...then what? Were they given the tools to make the permanent change?

I thought so...until I saw something that broke my heart.

It's been quite a while ago, but Oprah invited a former Biggest Loser winner to her stage. The entire show was dedicated to falling off the wagon so to speak. I braced myself for what I was about to see. I didn't want to see a winner go back to their old ways. I wanted to think that once they learned how to eat right and exercise that their struggles with food would be gone.

That's not what I saw.

Instead, I saw someone who worked so hard to look like this...




















...gain 100 pounds back.















I sat on my couch in tears. Why? Because it was sad? No. Because I could feel his shame. He said he felt like he let people down. Those who said they were inspired by him. Those who wanted to be just like him because they understood his struggle.

He fell off the wagon. He wandered off the trail.

What does that mean for all of us who struggle, too? I've found that once I get into a good pattern, I tell myself that one Pepsi is ok if I've been successful for a week or two. Or one brownie. But then, one turns in to two...turns in to three. Moderation evidently does not work for me. If I am to be successful, I will have to eliminate these things from my life. How is that possible? Chrissy without Pepsi and brownies?

Weird.

And I so badly want to look like this again...



















For those of you who have asked, "What happened to Measure Me Monday?" It fizzled. I felt like the above Biggest Loser contestant. People said they enjoyed my honesty. They were inspired to do the same. And I fell off the wagon. I wandered off the trail.

Time to find my trail again. And find that wagon...

By the way...our weight loss "competition" came to an end because my friend decided to use a fat burning product. She decided it wasn't fair, so off she goes to losing weight with help. I'm still using the old fashioned technique.

2 comments:

Jaimee M said...

Think of it this way Chrissy - my kids love wagon rides, they could ride forever! Sometimes though they do have to get out and check out stuff, maybe something in the yard or to run around - but they always get back in the wagon. Maybe if we think of our weight loss journey like that we will quit beating ourselves up for failing. We just stopped to check things out for a bit, but we are now getting back in the wagon! I know I am! I now have a little motivation - vacation in Florida next year! Yeah me!

Ashley said...

Thanks for the update Chrissy... I can realate to your feelings. I've held onto 3 pairs of jeans that I used to fit in, just 1 year ago... I kept telling myself that I would get back there soon - it's only a matter of a few lbs! But, yesterday, in a fit of rage and self pity, I threw them away. I guess I'm off the wagon as well...

Post a Comment