One summer day, as I watched Gabriel swim with his life jacket on - so fearless, so brave, so care free - I also noticed that perhaps he had a bit of overconfidence. I'm not sure how I realized it, call it a mother's instinct. Somehow I just knew.
He thought he was swimming on his own.
It was as if a life lesson was just being demonstrated right before my eyes. When Gabriel began to mess with the buckles on his life jacket, in a way that I knew he didn't want to wear it anymore, I decided to go ahead and let him take it off. I placed the jacket aside, and I held on to him as we played in the water.
But that's not what he wanted. He didn't want to be guided with my help. He didn't want to wear the one thing that would keep him afloat.
So very briefly I let go, and very quickly he went under the water. I grabbed him and said, "See, sweetie, I can't let go or you'll sink!" Surprisingly, he wanted me to let go again, he was so sure that he could swim on his own!
It dawned on me that I do the same thing.
How often do I push God aside? How often do I think, "Don't worry. I've got this." And I wonder what it's like for Him to just watch me sink, knowing He's right there and I've let go. I wonder what He thinks when He pulls me up, and I want to let go again, just like Gabriel did.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9
I am thankful for the visual that day. It was so clear to me that I even had tears for a moment, right there at the water park.
I need to stop taking off my life jacket.
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