Saturday, April 28, 2012

I'm Getting Old(er)

In June of 1998, the summer after I graduated from high school, I looked like this:

In July of 2011, the summer that I celebrated 10 years of marriage (let's add to that 3 kids and lots of ups and downs in life), I looked like this:

I'm getting older.  And what's funny is, I actually like myself much better now than the person in the first picture.  I could go into details of life, what's made me who I am, but I think I'll stay superficial with this post.  We'll get into a more who-I-am-now as apposed to who-I-used-to-be type post later.

So now that I'm in my thirties, I actually have to start to consider what kind of face wash to use.  Or what kind of shampoo to use.  Or if I'm going to actually go to the new vein clinic in a nearby town because of the veins in my legs.  Gosh, I so miss my "Barbie legs" as my sister used to call them.  I refuse to ever tan in a tanning bed again (I should have never done it in the first place) because of the age spots I've started to see on my face (two so far).  All the times my dad gave me a hard time for wearing make-up to softball tournaments every weekend...I can now tell him that I am thankful for my vanity back then...because my foundation had SPF 10 or 15 and probably saved me several years of aging!

I joke that I am going to start saving right now for a face lift when I'm in my 50's.  I should also save for a tummy tuck, Lord knows that no matter how hard I work, this tummy of mine that carried four children to term will never be flat again! 

But then sometimes I just sit back and think...why I am worried about all this stuff?  Why on earth do I think that I'm going to look 25 forever?  Why do I want to?

Our society expects it of us?

Our culture ingrains it in us?

I mean, it's good that I want to lose weight to be healthy.  But obsessing over my two age spots or the veins in my legs...probably not good.

I do still want to find a good face wash for my age.

I do still want to lose weight.

I do want to do what I can to look my best.  Maybe it's for me.  Maybe it's for my husband.  Maybe it's just for the sake of looking good.  I hope that's ok.  I'm not sure where the line is when it comes to wanting to look good.  When does it just become major vanity?  


Steadfast Ahoy! said...

I will turn 63 on my next birthday, and I am asking all these same questions!!! I guess it's universal. I love how you tilt your chin down for photos, like you are shy of the camera, then and now. You are beautiful and alive and your family loves you--that's all that counts.

Angie said...

Love this post! Talk to Maegan, Rachel, or call me and we can set you up with a great face wash!! ;-D

accesskas27 said...

Hey girl I know what you mean. My personal opinion is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, as long as it doesn't become an obsession or to where it becomes more important than what's on the inside. I mean the day I start caring more about my flabby stomach than teaching my kids about christ then I think i've crossed the line into vanity.

I think all we can do is take care of our bodies the best we can and try to please God by taking care of the body he gave us but I have come to accept that certain things have changed in me forever because of life and with having kids. I wont' have a flat stomach ever again... and yes it kind of saddens me but at the same time my 4 kids were worth it ya know?

I struggle with the same kinds of thinking that you are right now.... it's hard... in this society to grow old and feel comfortable with the changes in our bodies..... but that is where I think we have to turn away from the world's view and just look to Christ.... and how he sees us.... I know it's easier said than done.... but tha'ts what I'm "trying" to do :-) :-)

Love you girl! and you are beautiful!!!

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