I think I may have hit my wall. I still feel very happy and blessed with my family. I'm still all giddy about this sweet little baby girl that I have. But physically, I feel extremely drained. It's not all because of a newborn baby, though that most certainly does take its toll. She's been better at sleeping in sets at night, something like 10:00 to 1:00 then 1:30 or so to 4:30...then sleeps til 7:00 maybe. I should be thankful for that, but it doesn't always go that way. And since I'm nursing, I can't just roll over and say, "You're turn!" to Josh. I nurse her every time.
A zombie is sort of what I feel like.
But it's not just her.
Add to that...I've had three (THREE!) gall bladder attacks (not sure what else to call them) in eight days. When I was admitted to the hospital back in September with pancreatitis (and also discovered gall stones) I thought it was the worst pain I had ever experienced. Now that I felt labor without the full affect of an epidural, I would still say that it's the worst, mostly because contractions come and go, and for me with my attacks, it is a non stop horrible pain that lasts for about 4 to 5 hours. CRAZY.
Usually there are months between attacks...I'm not sure why they're coming on strong now.
So that pain completely drains me. No sleep drains me. I'm not sure how I'm functioning, but I am! I am not superhuman, but I admit...something feels superhuman about being able to go about my daily routine with little sleep and coming off of that kind of attack.
My insurance says I have to wait until July for surgery, though, so I'm just praying that I can adjust my diet and be better at what I'm eating to keep from having another attack.
No sleep + crazy pain = zombie Chrissy.
And yet...somehow...I have strength to keep going! Thanking God for that! :)
I am also thankful that my husband takes care of me when I'm in pain...whether it's getting me my Percocet or getting me a heating pad or just being there...he is great.
Here's hoping my zombie self is not zombie like too much longer!
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