Monday, April 30, 2012

I Hit My Wall

I think I may have hit my wall.  I still feel very happy and blessed with my family.  I'm still all giddy about this sweet little baby girl that I have.  But physically, I feel extremely drained.  It's not all because of a newborn baby, though that most certainly does take its toll.  She's been better at sleeping in sets at night, something like 10:00 to 1:00 then 1:30 or so to 4:30...then sleeps til 7:00 maybe.  I should be thankful for that, but it doesn't always go that way.  And since I'm nursing, I can't just roll over and say, "You're turn!" to Josh.  I nurse her every time.

A zombie is sort of what I feel like.

But it's not just her.

Add to that...I've had three (THREE!) gall bladder attacks (not sure what else to call them) in eight days.  When I was admitted to the hospital back in September with pancreatitis (and also discovered gall stones) I thought it was the worst pain I had ever experienced.  Now that I felt labor without the full affect of an epidural, I would still say that it's the worst, mostly because contractions come and go, and for me with my attacks, it is a non stop horrible pain that lasts for about 4 to 5 hours.  CRAZY.

Usually there are months between attacks...I'm not sure why they're coming on strong now.

So that pain completely drains me.  No sleep drains me.  I'm not sure how I'm functioning, but I am!  I am not superhuman, but I admit...something feels superhuman about being able to go about my daily routine with little sleep and coming off of that kind of attack.

My insurance says I have to wait until July for surgery, though, so I'm just praying that I can adjust my diet and be better at what I'm eating to keep from having another attack.

No sleep + crazy pain = zombie Chrissy.

And yet...somehow...I have strength to keep going!  Thanking God for that! :)

I am also thankful that my husband takes care of me when I'm in pain...whether it's getting me my Percocet or getting me a heating pad or just being there...he is great.

Here's hoping my zombie self is not zombie like too much longer!


Kathy said...

Chrissy--so sorry to hear you are having these pains. Hope a change in diet helps. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

thechattymommy said...

Praying for you!
Pregnancy is one of those triggers for gall bladder problems.
I would have attacks with a month or two in between just like you and put off surgery for years and now I am thankful I got it.
I pray your insurance changes their minds and you can get it sooner.
I know when I was taking pain killers they constipated me and my surgeon said constipation is what would trigger my attacks.
I thought popcorn triggered it, but the doctor said popcorn just made me constipated.

And as for little miss- I always feel like I have super energy the first 3 weeks then I crash. The good thing about having other kids is you can remember that this too shall pass.
I am praying for more good days for you.
And wish I could help in some other way.

Hillary said...

That just sounds horrible :( I'm so sorry! This is my last week of craziness and then my schedule is free - so let me know if you want some company - someone to hold that precious baby or help clean, cook, etc :)

Aries said...

When the going gets tough the tough gets going. This won't be forever. At least you have a loving husband by your side thru sickness or in health. hope things get better for you very soon. Take care. I am just one of your blog follower that had not been blog hopping for a while.

Nel said...

So sorry :( I hope that the diet change helps! And i hope you can change your diet easily... it would be super hard for me to change my diet!!!

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