This verse has never been more important it seems when it comes to being a mom. I just can't comprehend these so called mommy wars, and I don't know why it has become so prevalent to tear down different kinds of parenting. I read an article yesterday, and this woman said it best:
I don’t much care if you breastfed your kid until they started kindergarten, or if you fed them formula from day one. I don’t really care if you turned your infant car-seat forward-facing prior to age 2, or if you homeschool, or if you send your kids to daycare while you go to work. Do you cosleep? Did you circumcise your son? I DON’T CARE. Do you babywear? Push your kid around in a stroller? Use a leash for your kid at Disneyland? Whatever. Good for you.
All of these petty wars about the choices of capable, loving mothers is just a lot of white noise to me, Quite honestly, I’m often astonished at the non-essential parenting issues I see moms getting their panties in a wad about.
With that being said, there is just something about a nice, encouraging word from another mom that can make all this junk disappear in my mind. On Mother's Day, I received a facebook inbox message from a sweet girl I go to church with:
Hi Chrissy! I was in the 4/5s today and after the lesson, we split up the boys and girls into two classrooms. I take the girls and my husband takes the boys. Well I LOVE getting to spend that 10-15 minutes with the girls before parents come. Well I try to remind myself constantly that I am raising a future mother and to make sure I am doing what I need to do. So it was fun on this Mother's Day, to look at this room of "future mothers" . (Crazy to think about!) Well I just wanted to tell you how sweet your Sarah is. She is like a little mother helping the other kids and is so so sweet and helpful. From one mom to another, just wanted to tell you you are doing a great job, she is a sweetheart! . Happy Mother's Day!
Do you know what this did for my spirit as a mom? Do you know how much it made me cry? :) Of course you do if you're a mom. We want nothing more than to hear our children are being good kids. We want someone to tell us that we're doing something right. It's just so darn hard in this world of constant bickering about what makes me MOM ENOUGH.
Do you know what makes me mom enough?
- I've changed diapers for 7 1/2 years now.
- I've bawled and endured pain as I pumped for 5 days in a hospital room so that I could still nurse my baby girl. Not because I think it's somehow superior to breastfeed, but because that's what I wanted for my girl, especially when we could tell how formula was messing with her tummy.
- I've stayed up nights catching puke as one child is sick the first night...then another child is sick the next night...then another child is sick the next night...
- I've taught ABC's, 123's, colors, shapes, words, animal sounds. I've played with Legos when I didn't really want to or gone on a princess adventure when I didn't feel good.
- I've potty trained...at times for way too long.
- I've disciplined and heard tears and done my best to explain why the discipline was happening...even when it's really hard to watch them cry.
- I've seen disappointment that I can't take away. I've held a sad child in tears.
- I've comforted a very hurt child while they had to be in the ER.
- I've felt pride as my child has accomplished much, received such things as student of the month or straight A's...because I know we work hard to teach our kids and encourage academics.
- I've felt excited as my child scored a basket or learned how to write their name.
- I've done an extra load of laundry when I wasn't planning on it because my 1st grader wanted to wear a certain shirt the next day.
The list could go on and on as I'm sure your list would, too. I say all of that because I know I am doing the best I can, and I know you're doing the best you can. And I am going to be more mindful of other mothers and I want to encourage them. If someone's child was polite to me, I should tell their mom! It is so wonderful to hear (or read) an encouraging word like the one I received on Mother's Day. We all need that so badly.
Be happy for moms when their baby claps their hands for the first time or their child scores a goal or gets 1st place in the spelling bee. Tell them how wonderful it is.
We're all in this together.