Friday, May 28, 2010

No Secrets

I'm electing to answer just one of the questions on Mama M's Five Question Friday today.

If you had $100 handed to you in cash without your significant other knowing about it, what would you spend it on?

First of all, I find the wording of this question either interesting or disturbing. I'm guessing some might think I'm weird for saying so, but it implies that I would hide this $100 from my husband. Even as an adult, I have been given money for my birthday (for example) and I have never hidden the amount from Josh. I have always opened the card, looked at the check or cash and said, "Wow, honey, so-and-so sent me [this amount]! Wonder what I should do?" And then we often use it on a night out together.

When asked "Have you ever lied about how much you paid for a purchase to your spouse?" 66% said "of course" in a Redbook Survey.

If you argue with your spouse about money once a week, your marriage is 30% more likely to end in divorce. -National Marriage Project

I honestly don't understand the concept of keeping money issues a secret from my spouse. As Dave Ramsey calls it, it's financial infidelity. I remember once seeing an episode of Oprah (don't throw something at me for watching her) where a woman - who was married to a man making a six digit income - had maxed out tons of credit cards equaling over $100,000 in debt. He just didn't understand why she would do this because he was more than willing to give her basically whatever she wanted.

Yes, there are independence issues with someone like the woman in that case. I find myself feeling the need for a little financial independence as well since I am a stay-at-home mom who does not work outside the home or earn any income on my own. If this is an issue, I believe open communication about these feelings is so crucial. I once heard someone say that her husband paid her on a bi-weekly basis. Some call it their allowance. I realize that some women might think this is old fashioned or unliberated, but if our family has decided that the best thing for me to do is stay home and put all of my time and energy into our children and our home, I think the concept of Josh putting aside some money just for me is a wonderful way to show his appreciation for me and to give me a since of financial independence that I would otherwise not have.

We have joint accounts, so anything I spend or anything Josh spends is not going to be hidden. Neither of us have credit cards. We are in this together. No secrets.

So if I were to reword the question, I might say, "If you were given $100 to spend however you wanted, how would you spend it?"

And the answer would be...I'd either save it and buy myself some new clothes when I reach my goal weight (I'm feeling more determined lately) or I would use it for a night out with my husband!

No secrets.


Smart and Trendy Moms



Ron Cooper said...

Hi Chrissy,

I’m already your Friday follower, but wanted to say hi!

My latest postings are, “The Triumphant Heart,“Pure Love,” “Peace of Mind,” and “Simple Gesture.”

D and A said...

Hi Chrissy,

When I answered that question, I added (BTW, I would tell my husband - or something along those lines because I would never feel the desire or need to hide it from him either.

I am pretty sure that I am already following on bloglines but not on google too.

Amy @

Lisa said...

I agree. I don't understand why you would hide it from your spouse if they would find out eventually...and then they would be mad that you lied! I feel guilty about spending sometimes, so I'll ask first just to make sure it's ok.

Jill said...

Stopping by via the Social Parade. It's nice to meet you :) I'm now Following your blog :)

Have a Great Holiday Weekend!

Jill @ Frugal Plus

Heather said...

I totally agree with your attitude on this. My husband and both work and we both get allowances. Anything else we spend we discuss.

AND. I don't watch Oprah very often, but I saw that same one and I was FLOORED. It was amazing what she spent!!

Nice to meet you.

Dawn K. said...

hmmm. . . .good question. I'd probably spend it on scrapbooking goodies but I'd tell my husband too.

Stopping by from the blog hop and following you now! Stop by and visit!


Krissy said...

I don't have a husband but I would probably tell him. :) I answered mine in current, though.

Following you from Follow Me Friday!! Hope you visit and follow me as well! Have a great weekend!

Mommy to Casey ♥ said...

I'm now following you from Social Parade! :)

Check out my blog:

Anonymous said...

I would not hide it from my hubby either. I don't see why i would want to. He would be so happy for me and would want me to spend it any way i wanted. I would probably buy a new outfit and shoes :)

I am now following you...come and visit my blog sometime.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought the wording was weird! I even said something about it as I was vlogging.

Have a great weekend, lady!

HeartsMakeFamilies said...

Interesting. My husband knows where my money is as well. I'm already following you. Thanks so much for flying with the new Friday Follow.


Colleen said...

I am following from Social Parade. I know it is a little after Friday.

I am a mom of 5+ (I keep taking in teenage boys...3 so far). I lost my 15 year old son 3 years ago in a tragic go-cart accident. I am trying to connect with other grieving mothers. Please feel free to follow and pass on to anyone you think would be interested in connecting with me.


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