This morning as my mom was on the road to see my sister - a three hour trip - we spent a lot of time talking on the phone. At some point she asked me if I had thought about what I'd like as far as help after the baby arrives.
Should she stay with me a few days?
Should my dad come over (since he's retired)?
Will Josh take off a few days?
What does my father-in-law's schedule look like (because he keeps the kids sometimes)?
And as I kept thinking about it, I just said, "You know, Caleb will be in school. Sarah and Gabriel play really well together. Gabriel is finally consistently going potty on his own and only has - usually - one poopy accident a day. I really think I'll be ok!"
I wonder if I'm overconfident about the future situation. Have I forgotten what a newborn is like? It felt like such a smooth transistion when I had Gabriel (my 3rd kiddo) that I'm just not really worried about being on my own. I wonder if I'll beg for help after my first week, or if I'm just used to this new baby thing now?
Mom said she still wanted to be there for me and would take off even if I didn't think I needed it...which is probably a good idea! I do know it's nice to have someone make food for the kids during the day or play with them if I'm tired. I know if I'm nursing and one of my kids needs me, I'll get used to that (because I did that with my others) but the first week or so it might be nice to have someone here to help in those situations.
But still...after typing all that...I feel like I'll be ok. As I've discussed with Bethany (mother of two kids, ages 2ish and 11 months), there's just something about getting the hang of having two kids, and after that, it seems like each one isn't as difficult.
I sure hope I'm right anyway.
9 comments:
I've thought the same thing this time. I'm not really too worried about it. My oldest 3 will be in school, and I'll only have one other at home with me...I think we'll be fine too! :0)
With my first baby I wanted help with the house and myself. With this one I am anticipating needing help with big sister more than anything. I bet by four you've got a handle on it. All your kids are already USED to having siblings, unlike the transition from one to two. But. Having Mama on stand-by, or having her there just to cater to you a little, is ALWAYS a good idea ;)
My biggest warning would be to be prepared for regression in the potty department with the little guy and some jealousy to rear its ugly head a little especially with Sarah because the baby is a girl.
My thoughts - any time that your Mom offers to take care of you, let her! You will both benefit from the experience.
I think you should take three to five days alone with the baby and your husband, if possible. It will feel like a vacation and you'll be able to learn your baby and bond!
I say take all the help you can get. Not because I lack your ability to make the adjustment - because if I can do it, anyone can:0) - but it's nice to know you can close your eyes when needed without leaving the older kiddos to fend for themselves. I kinda like my space, but it was still nice to know that at some point during the day those first weeks, someone was going to stop in and give me a second to catch my breath and/or take a nap.
Ok first, I didn't know you were pregnant. Congrats!
You can handle it, 4 not much different than 3.
I was feel like i can conquer the world the first couple of days and then it hits me and i want someone to let me relax
I say the meals are a huge help! Just having one less thing to worry about. When you have the new one - and 2 more at home you can't just take a nap if you are tired or when the baby is sleeping. There is always stuff to be doing. So one less task helps those first couple weeks!
I didn't have anyone stay here... had some meals dropped off and that was perfect!
You will do great!
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