Thursday, January 21, 2010

I am a Compulsive Opinion Giver

Josh was telling me of a young woman who he was sitting with one day at lunch. She said she just couldn't find any wiggle room in her budget, no extra money at all. She then went on to say that her miscellaneous category had $200, entertainment was $400, Dish was over $100 (you get the idea). I asked him if he took her by the shoulders and shook her, and he said he just didn't say anything. He told me that if she asked his opinion (because she knows he teaches FPU), that he would give it to her.

So I need to do people like him exercise such restraint?

I have realized over the years that I am nearly incapable of keeping my mouth shut in such circumstances. It's not just finances. It could be parenting issues. It could be marriage issues. Politics are a fun one. I might even be up for a debate on Pepsi vs Coke! There are very few things that come up that I don't feel strongly about, and it's almost impossible for me to not just jump in full force when someone says or does something that I don't agree with.

This is a difficult personality to have. I think it could be defined as a personality disorder! But I'd like to think I'm normal for the most part, so let's not label me just yet.

If someone I care about is doing something that I find to be detrimental to their well-being, I kick into overdrive. We're not talking about something small like "should I spend $100 on a professional carpet cleaner?" I mean things like relationship issues. Huge financial decisions. I just can't keep my mouth shut.

Why is that?

And in all honesty, I usually only do this with the people I'm closest with. Sure I give a few ideas to those I know through church, through the community, facebook, blog, etc. I mentioned a few potty training ideas to Jessica while she's going through that process. But if she was my sister, I probably would have been EVEN MORE bold about how I think it should be done. Aren't you glad you're not related to me, Jessica?

The closer you are to me, the more likely I am to tell you like it is...Chrissy style. Perhaps I've watch too many episodes of Dr. Phil. I don't know. But no one is really safe. It's possible that I could start giving you my views if I've only known you for a week.

So bare with me as I consider myself a recovering compulsive opinion giver. It's a hard trait to change.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes you really do have to just tell it like it is. Following you from Coupon Mommy's Wednesday Linkup. Hope you'll follow one of my blogs as well.

Faithful Mali said...

I don't think that is necessarily a bad trait, as long as you offer your opinions with grace and sincerity. Too many of us (myself included) sit by and watch others self-destruct because we are too uncomfortable addressing the issue with them.

By the way, good for you for not having a soda since Friday! The doctor I work for calls soda "liquid poison." LOL, if its so bad for us, why does it taste so good?

Mrs. Haid said...

Oh man, I totally have the same personality disorder. And the same type of husband who doesn't give unsolicited advice.

I think this is why I identify more with Jane Austen's Emma than her Elenor from Sense and Sensibility!

Does it bug you when other opinion givers give their opinion with such strength? Sometimes it bothers me, but only if I feel criticized. I think I'd rather pepole have strong opinions than wishywashy views!

SonjaMichelle said...

I think the thing you (and all of us) need to remember is...that when you give your opinion about something, that is what it is. An opinion! You might feel very passionatly about it...but that is Your view and you need to understand that not everyone has your life and your views on things. Someone who does not agree or does not take your advice isnt saying "no" to you personally.

Chrissy said...

Mrs., I love a good argument...ha! I'll just come out and say it...Tina and I have some great email conversations sometimes (I think anyway)! :o) I wonder what she thinks??

kimberly anderson said...

I appreciate your honesty, really. Even though I have an ugly blue truck in my drive way, I am glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.

Chrissy said...

KIM!!! People are going to think I'm HORRIBLE!!! LOL!!! I am standing by my position that I did NOT say that! :o)

kimberly anderson said...

LOL! They don't think you are horrible, just doing it "Chrissy Style"

Kelley said...

:-) I have a few of you in my life. I'm not very good at being friends with them. If I have an opinion that I can't keep my mouth closed about, it comes in the form of questions. As in: "What was the reason for..." or "Can you explain..." or "How do you think you'd handle it if ____ were to happen?"

I hardly ever come out and actually say that I think someone is wrong because I never assume to know everything about the situation (I would if it were hurting someone helpless). It bugs me when someone else assumes to know enough about my life to throw a judgement out. :-)

But maybe that's just me! lol

That's the great thing about a blog- it's the perfect place to throw out general opinions because we're not forcing anyone else to read!

Jessica said...

Chrissy, I'm sure we'd get along just fine if we were sisters! You can give me all the advice you want to. I appreciate it! :)

Tina said...

I think that I have alot of strong opinions too and it is not that I am closed to other points of view- I will listen and respect them, but do not want to be made to feel inferior or "wrong" because someone disagrees with me. I think alot of times the things I say and the things others say that do feel strongly about things, come across as criticizing the other persons view. And I hate that I have ever done that. And I find it very hurtful when other people do it to me. And alot of times I believe people don't even realize that is how it comes across. I don't think it is a bad thing to stand your ground. And we have had many great debates. I can see many points in what you say, but still disagree most of the time. And I think that is o.k.

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