Sunday, August 8, 2010

I Still Have Opinions

Back in January I wrote a post about being a compulsive opinion giver. I am still in recovery so-to-speak, so I do still tend to spout off my opinion when it might not be welcome. I resisted once this week but caved and sent an opinionated email once this week, too. So one out of two is making progress, right? Actually, I resist A LOT when it comes to blog comments...man, I want to say stuff all the time and don't. I'm doing better!

When it comes to my real life friends, I am very prone to do this even more, especially when I start feeling that the friendship has reached that phase. Are all friendships this way, or do most friends just stay in a sort of happy, let's not talk about anything in depth phase? Sure, there are friends who talk about sex or in-laws or irritating spouse habits. But what if your friend is doing something that might not be in his or her best interest? Maybe it's a crazy financial decision. Maybe it's a crazy relationship decision. Maybe it's a crazy parental decision.

Here's the thing. I know it's possible that I could be out of line if I have a concern. I genuinely don't mean to ever seem like a jerk. Remember the post about cussing around your kids? It's possible that some might think I was being harsh.

Once I told a friend that I thought her husband was being an idiot (I won't go into detail, but I felt justified in feeling that way and saying it...at the time). That didn't go over so well. But you know what meant the world to me? SHE TOLD ME. She was upset that I felt that way about the situation. We talked for a long time. I cried. She cried. But I learned a lot about her character that day. She was willing to call me out on it. She did not keep it to herself and run to another friend and talk about me. She talked TO ME.

So if I feel like giving you my opinion, just know that you were the one that just happened to be the one for the day. I'm still recovering. If you don't feel it's valid, it's best to just tell me.

I'll respect you for that.


For now, I'll suppress a handful of opinions that are bubbling inside of me. You're welcome.



6 comments:

Mrs. Haid said...

I have so many opinions now about so many things, but oddly... not many about this opinion post!

I think its because I feel the same way as you.

I have unsolicited opinions bubbling up inside of me. I HATE getting unsolicited opinions about things I think I am well informed about - like health, parenting, nursing, teaching, career, etc... but I don't mind if its something new, like a movie I haven't seen, a new topic, something I am feeling uninformed about, products, etc.

I actually wish that people could give more opinions about the things that matter most in life - things that are mistakes in the making. I wish it were socially acceptable to warn people about risky behaviors (other than smoking while pregnant). I wish that it would be especially okay for someone to do some Biblical reproof in my life or for me to challenge (or chastise!) friends who are on the wrong path and I worry for them.

I so want to write about this on my blog, but the friend I need to have these conversations with is a reader and is thinks these opinions are unsupportive.

I think they are SO supportive of her, even if they aren't of her choices.

How to agree to disagree... when really you don't want to agree that her opinion is correct??

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

My mouth has been known to run off before my mind is in gear, and I usually end up scraping the egg off my face and apologizing for hurting other's feelings. I am slowly learning, or trying to learn to save my opinions for when they are requested, or when it is obvious that someone is actually interested in my thoughts. Walking a mile in another's shoes before making judgements is a wise course of action. Rosemary

Nel said...

Everyone is entitled to their opinion! I think I have become much better at being happy and content with myself, my life and my family and take things that others say with a grain of salt and keep on going... before I was very much so a people pleaser and things said to me would tear me up for days, weeks or even months!
But my Grandma is very much like you are - with commenting on anything and giving her opinion! And I still love her :o)

Alita- Da Mainiacs said...

Oh I'm opinionated as well. I hold back quite a bit though.

Alita
new follower!

Kristy K said...

I'm following you from Fancy Meeting You. I don't have the problem of giving my opinions too often.. if anything, I hold them back to a fault. then one day, out of the blue, I explode. I'm learning to be better though... to be loving, kind and understanding.

I love getting to read all these blogs that I wouldn't have found otherwise.

Jennifer said...

I do my best to keep my thoughts to myself, but often times my facial expressions ruin it for me. I actually have had to stop myself when I'm blogging because I know some of the decisions we have made aren't "normal" or the most popular. I know my thoughts could offend (and sometimes I care about that), but often I don't want people to tell me why they think I'm wrong (when I know I've made an informed decision). Does that make sense?

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