Saturday, April 10, 2010

By the way...I failed.

Remember the competition that I joined with my best friend? Remember the cute t-shirt?
















Yesterday I read this on facebook from a girl on a different team:





Even though I knew the weeks were going by and I was not keeping on track. Even though I knew there were days when I couldn't resist temptation. I guess seeing this yesterday - April 9th - the final weigh in day - made me realize that I had wasted another three months when I should have and could have been on track, just like Shelley.

I was genuinely happy for Shelley. Really, I was. Her status, however, made me realize how upset I was with myself.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22&23

Seriously...I cannot tell you how much I struggle with self-control. It's ridiculous actually. I remember one morning during a Sunday school lesson, our sweet teacher Peggy asked us what was the one thing that kept us in bondage (I can't remember the specifics of the lesson or the scripture with it). How sad is it that the FIRST thing that came to mind was food related? I feel in bondage to the thought of such things.

Why, oh why is that??

Others struggle with addictions to drugs or alcohol. Or maybe they feel in bondage to an unhealthy relationship, the wrong friends, too much time at work.

And here I am. Struggling with food.

I can't remember a time in my life when this wasn't the case. Fortunately for me, I was involved in sports my entire life. But guess what happens to a college athlete when she stops playing softball? She used to look like this...



















And now she doesn't.

So here is where I am today. I wonder how I can overcome this. And I wonder how I can keep from passing it on to my children.

14 comments:

Josh said...

8 out of 9 is pretty good. :-) keep trying and i will do better to help you and you can help me!

Hannah said...

I'm no expert at weight loss or self control myself, but I have recently found something that works for me. Me and a few girls from my church have been doing 40 day fasts... Not completely from food! It sounds scary huh? The first three days are juice and water only, and the next four days you add in fresh fruits and veggies, then after that you can have 'clean' fish (deemed clean from the Bible) and nuts, seeds, and berries in addition to to the previously mentioned things. The point is eating foods as God intended them to be eaten, no processed foods or any artificial ingredients. In 33 days I have lost 21 lbs. I have more details about the fast on my Blog... which needs updated with my 33 days report!

Cheryl Sybert said...

Chrissy, I have been struggling with the same issue this week! I had to fast from all food for 48 hours for a test. On the second day I was literally ready to tear someones head off.;) And then I thought to myself how sad it is, that it was the first time I had ever been truly hungry in my life. I felt guilt for being angry when there are so may people out in this world who go more than two days without food. I am praying for God to help me overcome my addiction to food. I try to remember that my body is a temple and I should treat it that way. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, because I have discussed this with a few of my friends this week and they all feel the same way. Have a wonderful weekend!

Tiffany said...

Oh honey, I am right there with you....

accesskas27 said...

girl... i know exactly how you feel... i was thinking the same thing... i weigh exactly what I did when we started! I had lost 9lbs and gained it back.... I am also in bondage to food.... maybe we can find a bible study for us to go through together... we can do it and then call each other or something.... I really want to be successful in this area..... I love you girl... and we CAN do this...

Ashley said...

Chrissy, I am realizing I struggle with this more than I've ever let myself realize...or maybe it's the first time in my life I've struggled with it...either way, I'd love to chat with you about this...

kimberly said...

Well please include me in that chat!

Mrs. Haid said...

I understand the frustration in your post. How frustrating knowing that you "Wasted" three months. Today I felt frustrated with myself that after my run (week 2 C25K) I went to El Magueys with my mom and sister (upon my suggestion).

We need to do a book study! I would suggest Lose it for Life or the Live It Don't Diet or perhaps Intuitive Eating. I really think that our mindset of quick fixes and diet mentality are holding us in bodage. I dont think that some diet plan is the answer.

I also think that many people could do that 40 day fast as a really negative restricting eating pattern that is hiding behind religion. One of my friends alikes that to skipping chocolate during lent in hopes of losing weight.

Wendy said...

Don't beat yourself up. I think we go through that. I know I do! I have the family curse of obesity on my side, so I constantly am aware of it! I too, have recently started an exercise routine b/c I fear the end result of what many of my relatives have lived and died from!

I feel that God knows we will be tempted and at times give into that temptation, but how we handle it is what makes us who we are. You are away of your temptations or crutches and many of us are not.

I also wanted to let you know that you are an inspiration...at least to me. You and several other of my friends have committed themselves to living healthier and getting back in shape and most of you have even ran in a marathon [by the way that is amazing and something to extremely proud of!], I have decided to do it, too. Or, at least get in shape...not sure about that whole running thing.

Take this time of reflection as a match to get you fired up again!

YOU CAN DO IT CHRISSY!!
(remember, I was a cheerleader!)

Good luck!

e said...

Your struggle is certainly my struggle.

I was incredibly active in high school, especially my senior year. I weighted 98lbs when I graduated. I weigh 220 now. That's 122 lbs of weight gain in ten years.

The only vindication I have is that I got this way eating ridiculously wonderful cheeses and drinking the best wines. (I can't help the elitist in me)

Anyway, I think that sometimes we have to overcome one challenge at a time. Perhaps overcoming financial ugliness (from one of your posts I hear "Dave" will be getting a call soon) will lead to overcoming nutrition ugliness.

Either way, I understand your plight and wish you luck.

Jaimee M said...

Chrissy you hit the nail on the head sista! I think about how I have (very unChristianly) judged my brother in the past for his addictions to drugs & gambling and I know food is simply my drug of choice. SO anyway, don't beat yourself up - you haven't wasted anything, you have been running - that is amazing - I couldn't run in my current (lack of) shape. So, stick with it, we will figure it all out.

Mrs. Haid said...

everytime I see the photo of you in the red dress I think, "why on earth did she wear red at her wedding!?" and then I remember you were lucky enough to go to prom with your husband, too.

I guess the white building in the back looks like a church or something!

Mrs. Haid said...

Another thing... it takes a lot of motivation for a mama to start a running program! You are a motivated momma (mama?) in that respect!

Mindy said...

Have you watched the Dr Oz show before? I think he gives good advice about changing your whole lifestyle to a healthy one .. and does so in a motivating way.

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